Vanishing Twin Syndrome

The vanishing twin syndrome occurs when, during pregnancy, one of the embryos fails to develop, disappears, or is absorbed (by the mother's uterine tissue or even by the living twin), thus becoming a singular pregnancy (or with fewer embryos than initially).

This syndrome, which is more common than people think (or than we usually hear about, because it often happens even before the first ultrasound), has repercussions for the family, especially for the sibling who experienced a loss in the earliest phase of their life, during gestation.

Generally speaking, the most common SYMPTOMS that can be observed in these cases for the surviving twin(s) are a profound melancholy, loneliness, recurring experiences of rejection, identity confusion, a great fear of loss, death, abandonment, and at the same time, survivor's guilt.

The surviving twin (or twins) who goes through this experience (often unknown to them and even to the parents) may feel very inadequate, as if they are "too much" for the relational contexts they are part of, and may even seek a romantic partner with whom they behave in a dependent and "too similar" manner. They may be people who accumulate objects, identical ones or those that serve the same purpose (and this extends beyond objects: having multiple email accounts, various pseudonyms, among others). They may even develop physical illnesses or have "extra" body parts (for example: an additional rib).

Not only do the sibling(s) feel this loss (the surviving twin and other siblings too). Parents can also feel a "chronic" absence - often filled through attempts to "parentify" other family members, other people, or even pets. This "absence" can also often manifest through feelings of "guilt" due to the impossibility of bringing another child into the (physical) world.

This is one of the topics that we can address in a Systemic Family Constellations' session and I usually also advise a personalized Mentoring Process for whoever is learning to now live with the consciousness of such loss and life. Grateful for having read me,

Joana

info@joanacostapessoa.com